Yesterday, I received a message from my dad in facebook saying that he is excited to pick me up this November so that I can finally visit my family in his country and study there. Then, I gave him the sad news... the news that I was not approved as a tourist in their place for the reason that I don't have enough reason to come back here... The news that has been giving me heartaches the moment I received it. Now, I am waiting for him to give his response regarding this matter..
So what is up for me now? My first plan has been crashed out... I need to rethink of another way again... a new design for my life. Then, days ago... I thought of undertaking this "nursing experience" thing which I tried avoiding for 2 years. Maybe, it is the best way to start the future that I have been wanting for myself... the usual accomplishment of a 2 year experience then apply abroad. I find it unnecessary before, but now, I am down to having no more option. I've been waiting for a long time for my immigrant status, yet up to now, it is still on the hands of the embassy.
I heed advice from my ever supportive mom. I asked her what should I do next given the situation. She then gave me a reflective explanation of the scenario. Maybe, it is not yet the right time that is why God didn't allow it... you have done everything... maybe, God has a better plan for you.
In my head I thought, maybe God wanted me to move there when I am ready. After getting my 2 year experience here. If that is the case, I won't settle for something less, I will get the best nursing experience that I can... I will apply in PGH's APCN training in Manila... specialize in Operating Room, then get an ICU training and ACLS to hone my other skills, then work as an OR Nurse fully equipped. Master in Minimally Invasive Surgeries (MIS). If God permits me to be stable, then that's the time that I'll continue my master's degree. I hope to accomplish all of these in 2 years time. Growing old creeps me before... thinking that by the age of this and that, I should be this one... but now I care less, what matters most is that I am moving up and not living a stagnant and not progressing life. I should not fear because God is the one driving my life, and God is God.
The only difference now, is that I'll FOCUS on this goal... and this alone. No more distractions, no more diversions... I know God is always with me... and I offer every desire that I have to Him...
maybe amidst everything He will say Tammy, It's TIME!.. =) AJA!
planning a life from scratch!
- Monday, October 25, 2010
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