i-am-tammy (filipino woman on her 20's: way of life)

Just this very moment, while I am binging a can of corned beef, cute bread slices and soda... and while enjoying the articles I'm reading in my blog hopping "time"..Something popped in my mind.. something which confused me and scared me.

For 2 years now, I selected a path which I really want. A path which I ambitiously took, and kept on strengthening me for the thought that I can achieve it... not now, but someday. This focus I bestowed on such goal enabled me to remain steadfast despite the chaos and turmoils I have undergone lately. It is the only thing I see in this world, and I strongly believe that it is God's blueprint for my life..

And then, suddenly, I wonder... "is my chosen path, is really the one designed by God for me?"

Or, these distractions and disappointments are His way of saying that I should be redirecting my attention to His will... which is out of my league since I am driven on a target that I really want. And the idea made my heart pound, froze my world as teardrops drip from my eyes... The thought scared me. The thought that I am misled by my own desires after all the sacrifices I have made. The thought that I am walking alone, stubborn and disobedient, deaf from His answers... I am scared for not being able to hear Him...

I am bowing my head now. Wondering and wandering...

then in a pacified state, I reminisced my journey in the past 2 years. I remembered some moments... I remembered how I got my first job, how I enjoyed life, how I learned to love and let go, how my fantasies died, how I got crippled, and how I survived everything just to remain alive- (embracing a life that is filled with love and laughter.) All of these breezed in my mind... Then, I thought of God... (as I crumpled hopelessly and whispered my ambiguity)

I prayed...

God, I know I remained strong cause I know that you have a plan for me... I know that you love me, and all I have to do is survive life's catastrophe... after finishing this maze you designed for my life... I know You will be there... You will be there... embracing me for remaining strong.... You will be there in the end of this path, delighted.

I know that You are always there... as long as I offer this journey to you.

I am 23 years old now, and every day that passes by somewhat scares me... cause I know I will be growing old.. and I am losing days to fulfill a goal. It is like taking a long stopover, waiting for that single ride to the end of the labyrinth... I don't even know if I am in the right waiting shed to catch that ride...

But what kept me on this position is a promise... His promise... that He will never leave me no matter what... Everytime I feel hopeless, confused and left out... I just think of His omnipotence, and His GREAT LOVE to me...

SO, am I on God's Road?


Are you on God's Road?


You are, if you entrust your journey to Him.