i-am-tammy (filipino woman on her 20's: way of life)

The year of the tiger did give me a roaring 2010 experience which can be summed up as days filled with strength, fear, dominion and yup... pain. Like how a tiger survives in a safari, I was also battling to keep my pride and honor amidst the devastating wilderness. My 2010 however gave me enough learning experience in order for me to become a STRONGER individual.

In the first quarter of the year (January, February, March): I could claim that I was touching the sky. I have a good paying job, a great family, great set of friends, huge time for my hobbies- Photography, Travel, Blogging and Dancing, a good person who I am sharing my life with. I attend birthdays where I can give the gift that I want for that person. I can be experimental on monthsaries, and I had one great Valentines experience. I had time to keep myself fit through dancing on weekends and more time to go night outs in a much wholesome manner. I can visit the restaurants which I want to visit. I can walk in the street before going to work with someone. I go to dance showdowns with me as photographer of the event. I have friends who I share my passion in dancing with and have people who praise me for how good i am in it. I was also able to visit Surigao's Enchanted River and Tinuy-an Falls with my EVERSUN Officemates. I was able to travel to Manila and Baguio with my mom and sister, and attended a wedding @ Camp John Hay. I was active in endorsing Gibo for president to the point that I became an emcee in one of its gatherings.

In the second quarter of the year (April, May, June): This was the HUGE turning point in my life. In one of those dates I made a huge decision, that is to leave my IT job and pursue my profession... which is to become a nurse. Everything moved smoothly at first, I stopped working in the office but I was able to get sidelines so to avoid asking money from my parents. I remained homebound and felt that I am not achieving anything thus a moment came where I really RUSHED things. I STOPPED SLEEPING! I worked on 3 jobs just to fill in the inferiority I am feeling. I want to believe that I am achieving something even I am homebound. In April, I took my IELTS Exam even with lack of preparation and with God's grace, passed it. I got my BLS training and simultaneously worked @ home in a graveyard shift and also working in the morning as a dance teacher to preschool kids. I also had time to join and practice for the Groovestylz 7 (GUDC Dance Recital). All of that in April. By May, I was able to hunt for a hospital where I can volunteer as a nurse, and started volunteering there. Unfortunately, its location is really distant so it burned me out especially that I am already having a shaky relationship with someone. It was also the time that I got job offers that are far aligned to nursing. All of these burned me out making me choose the wrong decisions, turning me to someone who I don't know either. I was full of myself to the extent that I ruined myself, losing, overloaded and with no one. June came and everything shattered. From my group of friends, up to losing the things that I love, even to losing the person I loved. YUP, I ENDED UP WITH NOTHING. But, I am the kind of person who always consider God's omnipotence in my life. I just believed that it was part of His plan to make me lose everything cause it was in the first place not part of His.

In the third quarter of the year (July, August September): With nothing in my pocket, but just a hopeful heart. I faced some new challenges in my life. July, I was immediately accepted in DMSFH and was trained in the Operating Room (My dream area). It was also the time when I enrolled in AdDU's MAN. With those, I met very new set of friends... In MAN, I met the best people I have now- Bem, Lorraine, Lyndon, Sarah, Nina. In DMSFH, I also met great people with wonderful personalities that are very inspiring. Doctors and OR Staff who did not only become my mentors in the field but also during off hours with a bottle of beer in my hand... PARTEEY!! PAARRTTEEY!! Honestly, I was not able to experience crossing my boundaries before, but with them I learned how to have fun without degrading my self-concept. I am glad to meet Sir Oca too who was been a good mentor to me since College and up to my DMSF stay. I also met more good friends, my co-trainees! Boss AJ, Giannina, Mayen, Marnet, Ron, Joey, Juris, ate Darlin and Mich. In this quarter, I may not have the old people that I had in the previous months but these people shaped me in the best way that I can be formed. In this quarter, I was able to return to Manila twice also and met interesting people in UP-PGH, special mention to Kuya Mike and Sir Roni. I got my UP-PGH Perioperative post grad course certificate too.This time, I had no more time to DANCE!! Yup, but I get to return to my other hobby, Photography... and now sharing my passion to doctors who love the same thing. :)

In the fourth quarter (October, November,December): Things arrived to an end, and this time it is the end of my training in DMSFH and the end of the First Semester in my Masters Class (emphasis on still getting good grades in my class despite the hurts... LOL). I was waiting for the much awaited answer on the whole month of October, an answer to my VISA application which I was very positive about. I got bummed for 3 weeks doing nothing but FACEBOOK and BLOGGING! And yes, it arrived but with a bad news of disqualification. It was sad cause my dad was already prepared to fetch me in Manila. That news depressed me for quite a time. In November, I fixed myself and replanned my life. I started accepting the fact that I need to do what average people do... WORK then FLY. So here I am materializing that decision and vision. At the end part of this year, I pursued looking for a job in Manila, stayed there for 3 weeks touring its busy streets alone. Finally, living a life on my own. No more RUSHING now, I will be going through all of these one at a time, with a clear goal in my head and a flaming hope in my heart. In the last quarter, I AM A BUM.... yet I got to tour Tagaytay, Manila and Subic with my family... Had more parties and drinking sessions and had more time with great people.

I am really not sure if it is something to be glad of.... after losing everything, and the gazillion teardrops that fell in my face... I guess I am stronger now (Independent and Not looking)... and much ready to face a WONDERFUL YEAR!! My Year--> 2011!!! ** Crosses fingers and toes... ^_^